Mar 19

Battles Won and Lost

By the end of sixth grade, my adapted P.E. teacher gave the recommendation that I should be in a regular gym class. He said I was as good at sports and had as much knowledge as most boys. Of course this was nothing I did not know. Growing up with three older brothers they never cut me any slack.

When the middle school grades would play each other in an indoor soccer game, names were drawn to who would be playing in it. Mine was one drawn. I was not a huge soccer fan, but I wanted to play. I wanted to prove myself to my school and my classmates. A particular teacher who I did not care for totally objected to me playing in this game. Without my knowledge my friends stood up for me and went straight to the principle in protest. Boy was that teacher mad the students went over her head, but I was able to play. I was allowed to play as long as my mom came to the game. Totally lame and uncool, when no other parents would be there. During my school years the school system was more concerned about liability if something happened to me. They seemed more concerned about keeping me as safe as possible, than educating me or letting me be a kid.

Another thing about middle school I hated was riding the bus. My mom finally went back to work after almost thirteen years of being home with me. She had been getting paid to transport me back and forth to grade school before this. Now I was taking the bus with my aide. Every morning she would come to my house and ride the bus with me, my wheelchair, oxygen, and other medical supplies. It was a special bus. I didn’t want a special bus. I wanted to be like everyone else.

The bus had a few disabled students – some physically and some cognitively. And we had one student who was a problem child that also rode with us. You should always put the most vulnerable group of people with some kid with real behavioral issues. Nothing against people with cognitive disabilities, but especially during the time I grew up, being physically disabled, and cognitively disabled went hand in hand. At least that is how people perceived me a lot of times. Today I still get adults that want to ask questions about me, in front of me, to the person I’m with. (Especially security at the airports!) Also I get the stereotype that disabled people are deaf or hard of hearing. I’ve been to a lot of rock concerts, but my hearing is fine.

Like most people, I just wanted to be treated as an equal to my peers not less, not more, just the same. I had been the center of attention from the moment I was born. At any age sometimes you just want to blend into the crowed, and I am no different in those desires. Believe it or not I am a shy person outside my comfort zone, especially around new people. Just because I was thrown into something, does not mean I’m always comfortable with having to play that role. When you’re in middle school you are just trying to find out what that role you are meant to play is.


  1. nebulizer

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  2. Biżuteria Srebrna

    Hi, I have wanted to write about something like this on my own blog and you gave me an idea. It always stimulates me to search for some new blogs and such valuable content as “Tanya Krueger: Livin' life”. I am looking forward to your next post. Appreciate your work 😉 PS. Can you recommend any other blogs or websites with the same topics? Cheers, Biżuteria Srebrna

  3. DeeDee

    Good read love reading your stuff thanks for being so open about your life..

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